


Making Amends

by radpineapple



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Other, sam and dean not communicating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29854563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radpineapple/pseuds/radpineapple
Summary: based on the prompt “write a story about someone looking to make amends for a mistake”
Kudos: 1





	Making Amends

I know how he felt about me. Hell, I felt that way about myself. I knew what I had done. And I knew what I was doing when I did it. And where did it end up? The fucking Apocalypse. I started the fucking Apocalypse. I had released Satan into the world. The literal Devil. And Dean hates me. 

He hadn’t said it exactly, but I knew. It was the subtle glances. His distrust. He literally told me he didn’t trust me. And I don’t blame him. It’s just... It’s unbearable now. Nothing is normal. The way he’s treating me almost got him killed. He didn’t let me—no—he didn’t want me, to come help him exorcise a demon. So he insisted on going alone. I came anyway, and it was a good thing I did. 

The demon had managed to escape and would’ve killed him if I didn’t jump in and gank it. Dean didn’t see it that way. He said he had it handled. But he was mainly pissed that I had even come at all. 

“See, Sammy?” he had said. “This is why I can’t trust you. You directly went against what I said!”

I told him that I had saved his life. He didn’t care. I asked him when he’d start trusting me again. 

“I don’t know, okay? Whenever it feels right.”

“I want a more specific answer, Dean!”

“Fine. Then never. I will never trust you again. Is that clear enough for you?” 

“Yeah. It is.” I had begun to pack my things. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Away from you. If you’ll never trust me again, then I’ll never see you again,” I had spat at him angrily. 

Now I was walking in the parking lot of the motel. My adrenaline still rushing. Anger fueling me. 

He was just like Dad. They could never fully trust me and never have. I crossed the street and headed towards the gas station. I could pick up a ride there. I guess stopping the Apocalypse was all up to me now. Maybe that’s how it should be. I mean, it was all my fault anyway. 

A boom sounded. It was so loud I stumbled. It was close, and my ears rang. I spun around and looked to its source. The motel. A thick plume of smoke was spilling upwards. 

Dean. 

I dropped my bag and ran across the street, barely checking to see if the road was clear. I raced back in the direction of our room. Smoke and panicked people got in my way. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I started coughing as I pushed towards my brother. 

“Dean!” I called. “Dean!”

No answer. 

I reached our room. This entire chunk of the motel was gone. Fire and rubble remained. I raced to the rubble. The smoke was even worse. I could hardly see or breathe at this point, but I had to find him. I had to. The last thing I said to him couldn’t be, “I never want to see you again.” 

“Dean!” I croaked. Involuntary tears forming in my eyes from the smoke that blurred my vision. I couldn’t see. He could be right here, and I wouldn’t be able to see him. “Dean!” Someone roughly grabbed my arm and started to pull me back. “No! Stop! My brother is in there!”

“I’m right here!” 

I turned to the man pulling me from the rubble. “Dean?”

“Yeah, it’s me. What were you doing? I thought you left!” He was trying to come off as tough, but I could hear the concern lacing his voice. 

He tugged me away from the smoke and ash, my vision still blurred. I coughed as we got into fresher air. He finally stopped moving, and I drew him into a tight hug. 

“I thought you were...” My sentence left unspoken. 

He held me back. “Guess I got lucky.” 

I pulled away. “Dean, I’m sorry. For what I said.” The tears remained in my eyes. “For what I did.” 

He stared at me, but I saw him swallow harshly. He understood what I was really apologizing for. “Sam, that’s not your fault,” he said softly. 

“Then why are you blaming me?” I hated how clingy it came out. Like I was some little kid asking his mom for approval. 

“I’m not blaming you, Sam! I warned you! I shouldn’t... It never should’ve gotten this out of hand. I knew what was happening, and I didn’t...” Dean turned away. “This wasn’t your fault.” 

“You blame yourself.” 

“Let’s just go.” He tugged on my arm

I didn’t move. “Dean.” 

He glared at me, but I could see the shine of tears in his eyes. “I said, let’s go.” He started walking away. I followed. 

“Don’t be like this,” I said. 

“Like what?” 

“Blaming yourself and shutting me out. It won’t work this time.”

“Watch me.”

“No. I won’t.” I paused. “We’re not working, Dean.” 

He stopped and turned. “What do you mean?”

“Together. We’re not working out together. Maybe...” I hesitated. “Maybe we shouldn’t work together.”

“Why?”

“You don’t trust me. And I don’t trust me. That’s not good, Dean.”

“If that’s what you really want.” His voice was quiet, and he looked away. 

“...that’s it? You’re not going to put up a fight?”

“Why would I? You’re right.” His gaze settled back onto me, full of conviction. 

I wasn’t expecting that. I was a little disappointed. I wanted him to be a little resistant at least. And I hated the way my heart sank. “Ok. See you later, I guess.”

“Yeah... See you around.”


End file.
